Tag: food

Pack Up and Go
Day 1: Sleepless in Seattle

After a solid two and a half hours of faulty air conditioning unit aided sleep at the Hilton Kansas City airport, we were off to the airport.

Tina and I checked our bags (thanks Delta Air Lines for not waving the fees for retired military) and headed to our departure gate. The flight was only half full so Delta kindly upgraded us to their comfort plus section. Worth the $44 in my opinion if you fly Delta. Once airborne, the stewardess made her way down the aisle and offered us all the KIND Bars and Cheez Its we could handle! I would be lying if I said that I didn’t grab a few extra just to annoy the peasants sitting in economy class. The flight was rather uneventful for the most part and we touched down on the rain soaked runway of Seattle-Tacoma.

Since we were staying downtown we decided to forgo the rental car and use our feet and Uber to make our way around the city. Thanks to the magic of the internet an Uber picked us up and we were on our way to The Paramount Hotel. A quaint boutique hotel in the heart of downtown Seattle. We arrived about 10AM and the staff was very accommodating. Our room was ready and they brought up a bottle of red wine and chocolate truffles which I felt added a personal touch.

Being that this is a surprise vacation, you don’t have any time to research the location. Pack Up and Go provides a very detailed itinerary of recommended places to go, eat, and fun activities.

Despite eating 11 Kind bars and 3 bags of Cheez Its on the flight, we were ready for breakfast. Biscuit Bitch was recommended and was only a 15 minute walk from the hotel. It was a very stereotypical Seattle morning of overcast skies and a light drizzle but it did not dampen our spirits in the slightest. This gave us a chance to stretch our legs while taking in the sights and sounds of the city.

The name Biscuit Bitch implies that the place has attitude. Upon entering, your eardrums are assaulted by the bass from hip hop played at a volume that would make me yell, “turn that sht down!” if it was coming from my kids bedroom. With “I’m Bossy” bumping in the background we perused the menu and made our choice of bitches. I chose the Gritty Scrambled Cheesy Bitch while Tina played it a little closer to the vest by going with the Easy Bitch. The food did not disappoint! If you are looking for a place that serves up great food and a zero fcks attitude then Biscuit Bitch is your place.

Biscuit Bitch

With our stomachs full and eardrums bleeding, we hit the streets and made our way to the Seattle Art Museum. The building itself is a work of art but I must not be cultured enough because some stuff just looked like paint sprayed on a canvas and called art. There was literally random tools on a board being displayed. Honestly, the picture of me taking a picture of the painting needs to be displayed. There were some very interesting pieces but overall kind of underwhelming. Save your money for a crumpet! (more to follow).

After an hour of criticizing world renowned artists it was off to the Public Market. This famous market is located on the waters of Elliot bay and is best known for fish throwing at Pike Place market. This was a cool open air market with many vendors and food choices.

While at the market we noticed a giant Ferris wheel and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take in the views of the city and water from the top of The Seattle Great Wheel. Being with a beautiful woman with an amazing view from high a top the Ferris wheel made me powerless against Tina‘s desire to kiss me.

By now it’s late afternoon and since we didn’t eat lunch we needed a little something to tide us over before our 7 PM dinner reservations. All I will say is that if you go to The Wing Dome, order the six boneless wings and not the 12. They were huge!

Thanks to Pack Up and Go we already had dinner reservations at Loulay Kitchen & Bar in downtown Seattle. Loulay is an urban contemporary French restaurant that features local seasonal fare. We started with the Crab Beignets and split a Cheese Burger with bacon-onion jam, comte cheese, and a side of fries. Loulay is a very nice but not over the top fancy and won’t break the bank.

With our day basically starting with a road trip to Kansas City the night prior, we chose to call it a night and head back the the hotel. Back in the room we did what most couples would do. A few episodes of Little House On the Prairie, read some bible verses, and got a good night’s sleep.

Next…. Day 2: The Maple Kind?

Road Trip to Wrigley: The Showdown

Road Trip part 3…. The Showdown

Princeton, Illinois, population 7500. This little town, approximately 366 miles from Omaha, which boasts Ace Hardware as its major employer, was also the home to a quaint little McDonald’s. Only 2 hours outside of Chicago, we were nearing the Promised Land with plenty of time to spare. With the sun just barely peeking up over the horizon, and realizing since we had left early, we would have the entire day to explore Chicago, we decided to stop in Princeton’s McDonald’s for some breakfast. None of us were aware of the fateful events that were just minutes from unfolding that would change the course of this trip.

We had been on the road for quite some time, and none of us was in a real hurry. We took turns ordering, using the facilities, washing up and waiting for our numbers to be called. We were seated at one table, with the exception of Brad Dilly, who was at the counter waiting for his food. An idea was instantly hatched. I don’t know who thought of it, but Bart would carry it out. I wouldn’t say that most of us were in the best shape of our lives, but we were 16, and all healthy eaters. Dilly, the most portly of the group, and probably the most out-of-shape, didn’t look like he had missed many meals.

The plan was simple enough, Dilly would sit down and start to eat, and Bart would keep track of time. From first bite to last bite, we were going to time how long it took Dilly to eat a McMuffin. Could it be done in 5 bites or less, or perhaps in 1 minute or less? We were about to find out. Dilly brought his food around to the other side of the table, and we could barely contain ourselves. I jammed as much of my sausage McMuffin into my mouth as I could to avoid laughing. The wrapper was off, and we all looked at Bart, who was looking down at the second hand of his watch. Still unaware of what was happening, Dilly took the first bite. Bart broke down into hysterical laughter, and we all followed. “What?” Dilly asked, looking at all of us with a confused expression on his face. “Nothing,” Bart replied, now staring at his watch, and holding it with the other hand like a stopwatch. “FUCK YOU GUYS!!!” Dilly yelled, as he had figured out what was going on.

What happened in the next few seconds is the subject of Folklore, as most of us were laughing and finishing our own food. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw McMuffin hurtling through the air and the next thing we knew, Dilly and Bart were going at it. The fight was on! Food was all over the floor, expletives were shouted, and fists were flying. It seems as though the whole town of Princeton was staring at us in shock, wondering what had happened to disrupt their sleepy little town and their peaceful lives. Everyone knows that good friends don’t break up a fight; they egg it on until everyone has had enough, and this case would be no exception. As we laughed and cheered and food kept flying, Bart had decided it was time to step outside to cool down. Dilly wasn’t done. He bolted out the door after Bart, and with the precision of a guided missile, launched a whole McMuffin, which hit Bart square in the back. Bart was furious, “What the Hell, Dilly?!?!”

Inside the restaurant, concerned patrons started to make their way over to where the maelstrom had occurred. I was still in complete shock, as this had happened in the course of merely 30 to 60 seconds. An older gentleman came over and said angrily, “You guys need to pick this up,” to which Dilly replied, “who made you the fucking manager?” We hurriedly snatched up the rest of our food and headed outside to see what was going on. At this time, everyone had had enough, and the fight was broken up. You could still see the adrenaline going in both Bart and Dilly, and if you looked close enough, you could see a greasy outline of where a sausage patty had impacted squarely in the middle of Bart’s back.

angry grumpy old man shaking his fist at the world

We hopped in our cars again, but not before Todd snapped some pictures of the attempted murder weapon, a lone sausage patty, which we left in the parking lot of that Princeton, Illinois McDonald’s.
We were now only 2 hours from Chicago as we headed back out on the Interstate. We estimated that we would hit the outskirts of town in just short of an hour and a half, which would get us to downtown Chicago between 9 or 10 in the morning. We would have a full day to visit the city……..…or would we?

Stay tuned for Part 4………Separated